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Beastie, the Saga
Two weeks ago, one of our cats brought me a mouse. A mouse who was still very much alive, and who scurried behind the bathroom door, and then under the refrigerator and refused (then) to come out. Not...
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Letter to Teddy, Spring 2012
Dear Teddy, I feel like I’m neglecting you lately. It’s not that I don’t think of you often, I do. I think of you every day. I see you in the new climbing vines of the clematis I planted in your memory...
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Another way of missing
Last week I took Dot to the nearby playground before dinner. As I pushed the stroller through the schoolyard she saw a group of kids sitting together on the grass, and as we passed them she called out,...
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work travel and acting exercises
I traveled this past weekend, to the American Library Association’s annual conference. It was in Anaheim, CA, home to Disneyland, which made leaving N and Dot behind seem especially strange, somehow....
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Hysterical laughter in August’s shadow
August is going to own my ass this year, you guys. In light of that, please forgive the run-on sentences and all of the places where I make no sense. This is not an artful post so much as, well, the...
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Uff da
My dossier is turned in. Finished. Complete. I can make no changes and it is out of my hands. Uff da, I say. It’s what my mother says when picking up or setting down something heavy. The oh-so-useful...
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Witness
I am a witness in a friend’s lawsuit. I won’t talk about the details, but she was badly injured and her attorney is trying to piece together the story of who she was before and after her injuries. I...
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Four years gone
Dear Teddy, You would have been four years old last week. I guess I thought I’d be closer to acceptance right now, to a place where this didn’t hurt quite so much, but all I’ve been able to do for the...
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September, and thank heavens
The weather has cooled, the leaves are just starting to show a edges of red and orange, glowing flecks of yellow. The sunlight feels clear and clean – distilled into it’s most unsullied form. Tonight...
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Reluctant drama queen
So, yesterday was a pretty good day. A busy day. A September day. Yesterday I wrote a post about what a relief it was to be into September, and when I wrote that post I was full of plans for the week,...
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Lists and an update
Thanks so much for all of the supportive comments to my last post. I really was in quite a panic, and your kind words really helped. A lot. Now, I’m less panicked but considerably more weary. We’ve...
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Unpacking
We have moved. Into a house with green walls – bright lime green in the kitchen, a strange and muddy cross between olive and avocado in the living room, froggy green in the bathroom and a mix of these...
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Little Pumpkin
On Saturday, I took Dot to the University’s organic farm harvest festival, and told her she could choose her own pumpkin. There were giant, orange pumpkins, medium pumpkins, tiny green pumpkins, funny...
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Lights and dark places
I logged in today and realized it’s been two months since I’ve posted. I’m still not sure how that happened, but I suspect it has much to do with work craziness and unpacking craziness (No, we’re not...
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Small lights
Last Tuesday, I was walking across campus on my way to the parking lot. It had been a long day but a good one, and the air was tinged with frost. The light was grey and wintry as I made my way down the...
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Violated
It came out, during our visit home, that my mother secretly baptized Dot when she was only two days old. Which means, the first day Mom visited us, she decided not to consult with us or to discuss any...
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Contentment, the impermanence of
Last night I trimmed Dot’s hair again. She loves haircuts, have I mentioned? She asks for them often, and thinks it’s a big treat if I actually cut her hair. I fear for what this might mean later on in...
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Failure, but not the worst kind
I’ve been worrying about my tenure decision for months – the air seemed full of omens, the suspense stretched on and on. I was too afraid to write about it here and possibly jinx something even though...
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Foolery
I think it was the daffodils that sold me on April Fool’s day. Growing up in Montana, where the wind howls over the prairies and winter temps dive down into negative double digits, you sometimes have...
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Glowing
Today I am over at glow in the woods, writing about the curse of a changed perspective. Glow is one of the reasons I was able to keep breathing after Teddy’s death. The community, compassion, and...
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